sad beautiful tragic
by starlightandseaglass
Summary: the story of the potter children (they fall apart, one by one).


Title is from Taylor Swift's "Sad, beautiful, tragic." Cross-posted to AO3 under the name itsstrawberryblonde.

first, JAY

sorry, I mean **James Sirius**

 _(Potter, don't forget Potter)_

the shy, quiet dreamer boy with his nose in a book and his head in the clouds

his imagination runs wild

but then reality sets in

when _Molly_ plays a prank

 **James** gets blamed for it

 _("James Sirius Potter, how dare you turn your cousin's hair green!")_

he doesn't understand

 _(he wouldn't do that)_

"it's in your blood kid," Teddy says

 **James** (brave and funny)

 _Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

 ** _Potter_** (great and famous and _perfect_ )

 _(don't you see James? they're always gonna think it's you)_

and the poor **confused** _little_ boy

just wants to make _you_ happy

so he tries to be

 **James** (brave and funny)

and _Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

and a **_Potter_** _(how can he live up to that?)_

he ends up in **GRYFFINDOR**

 _(wouldn't want to be the first Weasley-Potter in_ _Ravenclaw_ _, would he?)_

because that's who he thinks _you_ want him to be

loud mischievous **GRYFFINDOR** James Potter

(not shy witty _Ravenclaw_ JAY)

and he doesn't understand why you're disappointed

 _(this is who you wanted him to be, isn't it?)_

and somewhere along the way he loses himself

 _(witty creative Ravenclaw Jay slowly blinks out of existence)_

he stops writing, scared that someone might find out

 _(scared to disappoint_ _ **you**_ _)_

he tries to be better

(but what do you want? better grades, or better **pranks**? _)_

 _(he never really knows)_

he takes solace in the few minutes he can use to sneak away to the library

and lose himself in books

(he meets **_her_** there, and for the first time in his life, he can actually be himself)

with _her_ , he's not **James Sirius Potter** , Harry Potter's son and GRYFFINDOR prankster extraordinaire

he's JAY, the quiet creative boy who just wants to write

with him, she's not **Annalisa Zabini** , cold stoic arrogant SLYTHERIN

she's ANNIE, the shy witty girl who should have been a Ravenclaw

 _(just like him)_

she lives in storybooks like he does his writing

and slowly they start to put themselves back together

(he hadn't even realized he'd _e_ _d_ )

 _(did you?)_

he graduates with top marks

("he must have cheated," you whisper when he's not around)

 _(he couldn't possibly be anything more than a prankster, could he?)_

he's marrying her, he tells you two weeks after graduation

 _(he's too young_ and _he's too irresponsible_ and _why a Zabini?_ echo through your mind _)_

he sees your disappointment and leaves without another word

 _(you don't know what's happened to him until Teddy gives you a book with his picture on the back)_

 _(the author's name is_ JAY ZABINI _)_

he's not **JAMES** (brave and funny)

or _Sirius_ (loud and mischievous)

or a **_Potter_** _(not anymore)_

 ** _(strike 1)_**

…

next is AL

or **_Albus_** , rather ** _, Albus Severus Potter_**

 _(the perfect child)_

he's not mischievous like **James** or  rebellious like _Lily_

not too studious or too wild

friendly, popular, intelligent, talented

the **golden** child of the **golden** boy

 _(he's the one everyone comments on, the one everyone expects to do great things)_

 _(to be just like_ _ **you**_ _)_

and **maybe** he's not as _perfect_ as you think, but he'd never let it show

 **maybe** he should have been a SLYTHERIN

 _(and you told him you wouldn't care if he had been, but you would have)_

 _(he saw how you reacted to Lily's sorting)_

so he doesn't say **anything**

just _smiles_ and _laughs_ and is

PERFECT

but then he starts t k

and just like **that** he _falls apart_

you find him **dead** in his room two months after graduation

everyone wonders _why_

but you know

 _(sorry I'm not perfect)_

 ** _(strike 2)_**

…

and finally, LILA

(don't you dare call her **Lily Luna** , she's not your pretty little flower anymore)

 _(she's not a_ _ **Potter**_ _anymore either)_

 _Lily_ was always the  rebellious one

the one you could never quite **control**

but you _never_ expected her to be a SLYTHERIN

you're _horrified_ but she's unapologetic

you decide that it's just **teenage rebellion**

by 15 she's all _parties_ and **boys** and short skirts

you try to stop her but it just fuels her fire

 _("what are we going to do with her?" you ask, when it's 3am and she's still not home from a date)_

 ** _(you don't have an answer)_**

 **James** leaves three weeks before Lily turns 16

and she spends the rest of the summer _drinking_ at muggle clubs

 _("my name's Lila," she declares one morning, with mascara smeared under her eyes and looking like she hasn't slept in days)_

 **(you ask why and she says something about a boy)**

you try to remind yourself that it's just teenage rebellion

 _(isn't it?)_

she's the one who finds Albus

 **dead**

and it drives her over the edge

 _(did you even notice?)_

she leaves home three days later, moves in with a SLYTHERIN friend

 _(did you notice then?)_

the next time you see her is Christmas vacation

 _("Lily, where have you been? we've been worried sick!)_

she's still all _parties_ and short skirts

but this time, there's something **different** about her

you find the baby clothes in a box on her dresser

when you ask, she doesn't even deny that they're hers

 _("how could you?" you ask)_

 _(_ _ **what you mean is "how could you do this**_ _ **to us?**_ _ **"**_ _ **)**_

she tries to explain but

 _you_ don't **listen**

 _("do you even know who the father is?")_

she leaves in tears but you know she'll be back soon

 _(where else could she go?)_

only she doesn't come home

 _(you don't know if you'll ever see her again)_

three years later you're at Rose's wedding

and there she is

 _(bright, smiling, with a little blonde girl clutching her hand and a ring on her finger)_

and you want to say something, but what?

 **(she doesn't need you anymore)**

a blonde man approaches her, hands her a drink

and you spot a matching ring on his finger

 _(your daughter is a Malfoy now)_

 ** _Scorpius_** picks up Lily's daughter, spinning her around

 **("Daddy!")**

 _(your granddaughter is a Malfoy too)_

you move towards her

 _(say something, do something, your mind screams)_

 **(you can't lose her)**

but Draco Malfoy and his wife reach Lily first and she hugs them, beaming

 _you stop and stare_

 **(even Malfoy is closer to your daughter than you)**

and you finally realize you've already lost her

you've lost all of them now

 **(James – you never knew him, never tried until it was too late. now he's gone)**

(Albus – too perfect, you didn't know he was cracking until he shattered. he's gone too)

 _(and Lily – the wild child, now with a family of her own, happy. she's lost to you forever)_

 ** _(why? you ask, but it's too late)_**

when people ask, you'll blame **insecurity** , depression, _rebellion_

but you know it's your fault

( _even your own kids can't live up to your legacy, Chosen One)_

and you want to do something, to fix it somehow

 **but it's too late**

you've lost them all now

 _and not even you, Harry Potter, can get them back now_

 ** _(strike 3)_**


End file.
